Just Thinking

Labor pains during birth were nothing compared to the pain staking labor of planning my son's funeral and watching my family mourn his death. So when I look past ignorance please don't think I'm ignoring it but understand I've felt the worse pain ever and there's nothing anyone else can do that could hurt me more. I've overcome. Sometimes it's hard to breathe when I imagine what it must have been like when my dad and my son were taking their last breath, I wonder what they were thinking. I wonder if they knew how much they were loved and would be missed. Surprisingly, I don't get the same feeling about my mom because God blessed me and allowed  me to be by her side during her last days. I think I was the last person she looked at before she fell into her "forever" sleep. Even in sickness she made me giggle because illness didn't and couldn't stop her strength. She was defiant until the very end. When I shop I look for things she would have liked. She was a woman who simply and honestly knew what she wanted out of life. My God has done marvelous things in my life the most important ones are giving me parents who loved me and allowing me to be a mother. No regrets, only praise and thanks.